Sep 14, 2017
DECOMPOSED BODY OF A CLASS TWELVE GIRL & AND AN BIBLE TRUTH-REVEALING ARTICLE ABOUT TEEN ROMANCE I HAD TO COMPOSE
Hyderabad was stunned as the decomposed body of Chandini Jain, a Class XII school-girl, was discovered in a hillock few kilometers away from her home on 12 September 2017. She was in love apparently and went to the hillock to resolve issues with her lover, also a teen like her. Little did she know that she would be killed as she walked alone into the hillock with her boy-friend that tragic Saturday. Cyberabad Police Commissioner, Sandeep Shandilya summarized the crime this way: "On Saturday, 9th September, Chandini left her home on the pretext of meeting her friends and met the boy. They hired an autorickshaw and got down at Madhavapuri Hills in Ameenpur near Hyderabad, India. While discussing their relationship, the argument heated up and she slapped him and she also threatened that she will commit suicide. This provoked the boy and he punched her head after laying her down and throttled her to death. He then dragged her body to the cliff and fled the scene, throwing her cellphone in a pond" (see the pictured article from the cover page of the Hyderabad edition of the Deccan Chronicle, 14 September 2017 and an additional article on page 6). Telangana Today, a local newspaper published out of Hyderabad, noted, quoting police investigation sources, that Chandini attended an inter-school event in a hotel during September 1-3, 2017, an event she learnt about via social media. The participants were supposedly given hotel rooms and booze-access in this event, according to certain reports. Though the killer-boyfriend wasn't there in this event, his buddy was there. One of the reasons for the couple's heated argument concerned Chandini's participation in this event. Heart-breaking!
This sad story led me to a Bible truth for every teen and parents/well-wishers of every teen. That truth is this: romantic love can wait when you are younger.
The Bible teaches this through EDICT as well as EXAMPLE.
Let's start with the edicts (commands). The Bible book of Song of Songs is straight-forward when it offers counsel for the younger generation: "Don't excite love....don't stir it up, until the time is ripe....and you are ready". This is mentioned three times in this book (2:7; 3:5; 8:5).
A Bible teacher made this comment about that repeated verse: "It has been suggested that the statement is a warning against forcing love to develop prematurely." Premature birth of love! It is happening all the time. In one's teenage years one's might generally be oscillating emotionally. One may not be steady. So it would be extremely unwise to take any major decision - especially that of choosing your life partner - in that period. It is better to postpone that decision when you are older, more mature and emotionally stable. It is advisable to make that make that critical choice after taking the counsel of older people, at a later time.
In an another Bible book, the book of Ecclesiastes we read this: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven....a time to love..." (Eccl. 3:1,8). So when you are in school-college, focus on your books - don't get carried away anyone's looks and get hooked to a love affair! So when you are in your teen years, be all ears when your teacher/professor teaches and have no distraction whatsoever. Don't fall in love so very early!
Don't say, "I can manage both - romantic love and my academic pursuits!" Someone smartly said, "If you chase two rabbits - both will escape!"
If you fall in love, when you are still in your teens, you set yourself up for at least a five to seven year romance before marriage. That can be emotionally exhausting. Romantic love will sap your energy and take your time. This practical life truth is known by all married couples and attested by God in Scripture (married state is "an extra burden" according to I Cor. 7:28, J. B. Phillips Version).
Let me narrate a familiar story (You may have heard me spin-this-very-often-very-true-yarn many-a-times in the Q & A sessions I have with youth): Two teens are in love. The boy steals/borrows from his dad and gifts a sleek mobile phone to his girlfriend. The boy also recharges the girl's phone! They talk long hours each night. If the boy misses out on calling the girl on a particular night, "madam" gets mad. Furious. She asks, "Whom have you been talking of late....? Which girl is more attractive than me to you...? Have you lost interest in me...?" After five years of energy-sapping, emotions-draining, romance, this girl finally decides to marry a boy who had a better job and greater salary than her long-standing friend. This poor boyfriend of the girl has two holes - one in his heart and one is his purse! This story is not narrated to put down the fairer sex! In-fact, you can re-narrate this story by swapping the boy's role with the girl's! Why will a teenage boy/teenage girl get into this needless, self-invited trouble, by falling in love, when they still studying?!
Let me now move to an EXAMPLE from the Bible that warns us from falling in love early: The example of Joseph. When he was 17 or thereabouts, a woman was after him (Gen. 37:2). But he ran away from her. He knew there was a time for everything. God gave him the daughter of Potiphera as his wife when he was much older (Gen. 41:45). I see that as a reward for having said 'no' to Mrs. Potiphar! It is God's job(joy!) to 'settle the lonely in families!' (Psa. 68:6). Let's us give God the time to do that! Let's us not hurry things up and do things like Abraham did - sleep with the maidservant (fall in love early without thinking)! If we did that, we will have to live with Ishmaels (face the consequences - a marriage that often drives you to tears of regret/loss of life like it happened in the tragic case of Chandini Jain perhaps).
While you still studying, instead of spending all your time with a "boy-friend"/"girl-friend", be friends with everyone in your class. Talk to that boy/girl whom no one talks with, the person everyone routinely ignores because of that person's weight, nose-shape or complexion. Go the extra-mile to be nice to the ignored folk in your class. Through that gesture you will have brought Jesus into your campus, in a small yet significant way!
Note: If you feel like, share this article with parents of teens or teens themselves. Thank you.
(This piece is adopted by a section of a chapter in Duke's book,"Straight Talk on Hushed Up Matters: Bible On Sex, Love, Marriage and More Wrapped Around Contemporary Events of Interest To Google Generation." Find out more about Duke's ministry, Grabbing the Google Generation from Gehenna Mission, the G4 Mission, at www.dukev.org. This particular YouTube video of Duke found here, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZImf9bCND_U, supplements this article).